INFORMATION AND ASSESSMENT MEETINGS
Every mediation will begin with an assessment meeting. Many people have separate assessment meetings some time before the first joint session. Some people prefer to come together to the assessment meeting, with a joint session following straight afterwards if their case is suitable for mediation. RMediate offer both types of assessment, but whichever type is chosen there always has to be some opportunity for the mediator to talk separately to each person. This is so that the mediator can ask some confidential questions designed to find out whether there are any special issues that need to be taken into consideration. The same mediator will be involved throughout, but sometimes one mediator meets with each person at the assessment stage, and then a different mediator conducts the actual mediation.
AGREEMENT TO MEDIATE
At the very beginning of the actual mediation, We will ask you both to sign an agreement to mediate, after checking with both of you that you understand what it says and that you both know how mediation works. The agreement to mediate is a standard document, used by all qualified family mediators, and is something that is required by the Family Mediation Council, which regulates all family mediators. The mediation cannot go ahead unless the agreement to mediate has been signed. You can put your trust in RMediate that we follow all guidelines and requirements
DURING MEDIATION SESSIONS
During the mediation we will give you useful information about how to deal with financial issues, how to deal with children issues, relevant legal principles, the court process, court orders, and how to contact other agencies and specialists who may be able to help. We will ask you important questions about what ideas you have about the future, and about what is worrying you about the present. We may even talk a little about what has gone wrong in the past, although the problems of the past are not the main focus of mediation. We will also set the rules he or she expects everyone to follow. These will include speaking and listening to each other with respect, and working with us to make sure that conflict and any strong emotions that emerge during the mediation don’t overwhelm the process.
RMediate work in a relatively informal setting, and we will always provide clients with a relaxed and secure environment. During the session, we will record key pieces of information or ideas or particular options in a way that allows both of you to see what has been written and to comment on it. Usually we will use a flip-chart to do this, but many also use more modern technology. You will be encouraged to ask questions and discuss what is being written down. If you don’t understand something that is being said by anyone in the room, or don’t understand something that has been written on the flip-chart by the mediator, it is very important to say so. It is our job to help. We will be keeping an eye on how you are feeling, but if you start to feel uncomfortable or worried about anything, you should let us know.
If the two of you are able to identify some proposals that you think might work, we will record those proposals in a confidential way, for you to turn into a legally binding agreement after getting legal advice.
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If both parties cannot have direct contact with one another, due to any bail conditions or court orders or perhaps you have difficult communicating directly then we can offer shuttle mediation, this is where you would each be in separate online spaces only ever seeing, hearing and speaking to the mediator.
YOUR CONTRIBUTION TO THE MEDIATION PROCESS
After signing the agreement to mediate, you will work with the us to:
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Explain your family situation.
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Set the mediation agenda. The mediation sessions are tailored around what you want and need to discuss.
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Agree the issues that you need to discuss.
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Decide the priority of the issues. Some issues are more pressing than others and need to be resolved first, e.g., short-term financial arrangements, holidays, contact.
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Set time scales to deal with certain matters e.g., for separation or divorce.
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Clarify the issues: sometimes it is not certain what is really in dispute and clarifying the issues avoids misunderstandings.
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Consider whether any other specialists might be able to help you.
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Find the common ground.
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Provide/obtain information, e.g., complete a financial questionnaire or have a form explained to you. If you have financial issues to discuss, it is particularly important to make sure everyone has a very clear picture of the family’s financial situation. This involves each of you providing details about any property you own, and your income and expenditure, very much as you have to if you go to court.
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Look at the various options and reality test those options. When there are financial issues you will need to give consideration to what everyone in the family needs, especially the children.
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Arrive at the option that best suits both of you and work out the details of your proposals.
THE END OF THE MEDIATION PROCESS
At the end of the mediation process we will explain to you how to obtain legal advice about any proposals the two of you have produced together and how you may convert them into a legally binding agreement and/or a court order. Proposals relating to children often do not need to be turned into a court order, but proposals relating to finances almost always should be. If you have not been able to find any mutually acceptable proposals, your mediator will explain to you what your options are at this stage, including negotiation through other means, arbitration and court proceedings. Although RMediate will never instruct you to do something, they may suggest that you take further advice, for example that you consult with a tax or pensions specialist, or with a family lawyer, before making any decisions.
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Even where mediation does not succeed, it may be able to help by giving you a better idea of what your family’s real issues and options are, and by giving each of you an opportunity to hear directly from the other person involved.
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