MEDIATION

Step by Step Guide

STEP 1 –

Find out what family mediation is

Family mediation is a way of helping families to reach agreements about what should happen after separation or divorce. It is an increasingly popular alternative to asking the court to make decisions about family issues.
Every day, family mediation helps couples who are in the process of separating or divorcing to decide what to do about the house, the children, the assets, the debts, and can help everyone in the family to establish new working relationships.
In family mediation, you negotiate face to face with your partner about arrangements that need to be made for the future, with the help of one or two neutral third parties – the mediator or mediators.

STEP 2 -

Find out whether family mediation is a good option for your family

The government and many judges believe that more people should use family mediation, to avoid the expense, delays and conflict often associated with going to court.
Family mediation is now an official part of the Family Justice System because most people who want to ask the courts to make a decision about a family issue now have to see an authorised family mediator first, to find out more about family mediation and other alternatives to court. These meetings are called Mediation Information and Assessment Meetings, or MIAMs. If you are not sure whether or not family mediation would be a good option for your family, it is probably a good idea to go to one of these meetings, to talk to a mediator about your personal situation.

STEP 3 -

Choose a Mediator

Family mediators come from a wide range of backgrounds. Many are family lawyers, or have at some stage worked as family lawyers. Many come from a therapy or counselling background. Sometimes two mediators from different backgrounds work together, to combine their different specialist skills. All qualified family mediators are trained to work with families in conflict, and have considerable experience in helping families to work together to find practical solutions to their problems.

All FMA members have been trained to mediate the full range of issues associated with divorce and separation, including children, communication, division of capital and other financial concerns. FMA mediators have a particular interest in and commitment to working co-operatively with other specialists – legal, therapy and financial (including pension) experts. Each FMA mediator meets regularly with her or his professional supervisor, working closely with the supervisor to ensure that the FMA’s high standards are maintained.

RMediate has the benefit of offering both a legal and therapeutic background, so you can be sure that we can offer you the highest level of expertise.

STEP 4 -

Choose a mediation process to suit you

Sole Mediation: After the assessment meetings have taken place, the normal process in this country involves two adult clients meeting with a qualified mediator together in one room, and all three people talking through the issues and the possible solutions together.
Co Mediation: One of the most common alternatives to sole mediation involves two adult clients meeting with two qualified mediators together in one room, and all four people talking through the issues and the possible solutions together.
Shuttle Mediation: Another way of working is to use two rooms. The two adult clients each stay in their own separate room, and the mediator or mediators ‘shuttle’ between them. There is no face to face communication between the clients, so this kind of mediation doesn’t help to develop better communication in the way that other forms of mediation can, but it can be a good way to help clients negotiate safely. Shuttle mediation sessions usually take longer than other mediation sessions.
Direct Consultation with Children; This is an approach that can be combined with any of the other methods. In it, a child who wants to be involved in the process talks with a specially qualified child consultant mediator. The parents agree in advance that this meeting is confidential between the child and the mediator, and unless any child protection issues arise, the mediator will only tell the parents what the child has agreed should be passed on. If the mediator working with the parents is a child consultant mediator, the child can meet with the same mediator who is working with the parents, but quite often it is a different mediator. Consultations usually last about 45 minutes with each child and children are usually aged 10 or above, but in some circumstances younger children may be seen. Many FMA mediators are qualified to do this specialist work.

STEP 5 -

It’s important that you feel comfortable with the process. Your mediator will explain how it works before you begin, but here is our overview of how the process works.